The REAL Me

Who Am I? I ask myself.
Sometimes I am weird, weird that even I laugh at myself.
Sometimes I am silly.
When all alone I do funny moves sounds and faces.
Sometimes a little crazy! I talk to myself outloud and yes I do answer.
Sometimes i become overwhelmed for no reason at all.
Other times all things saddening, upsetting, events beyond my control, questionable pasts, situations i can't understand, come to me in a flood
And my day, week, becomes imbalanced and full of vulnerable moments
Such that i cry, hide, cry, break, cry, become lost
Then simple moments whether its a hi from a deep love, true love, a song, puts me back together
Family you say, why not family?
Family does not know me, trust me, believe me. Why?
I don't know.

Who am I?
Am the one who tells a stranger they have lipstick on their teeth.
Who am I?
Am the one who attempts to bring friends together but instead they fight.
Who am I?
Am the one who will tell the one they love to go and fix their situation and make things better
Who am I?
Honestly i am the one who is left behind. I am the one who supports.

Who am I?
I am a mom. Finally genuinely loved no matter what.
A mom, the person who finally loves and receives in return.
Am the one who feels so lost when this heart is not around
Am the one who can't even imagine life before and or without this heart.
Am the one with just this thought, i cry!
Am the one who is patient, very patient
Am the one who cares in a way that unless you truly know me the inside me the real me
You wouldn't let go, you will and can only love me

This world, my experiences has changed me!
Days i feel numb, emotionless, thoughtless
Only and only with my heart do i truly feel again, do i focus again.
Am the one on the outside, i have changed actually adapted.
Am the one that has become more into self
Am the one through realization of life i am truly alone except with my heart
Who am i?
I am dance, I am movies, I am travelling, i am tours, i am the beach, i am music, I am trying and mixing up recipes, i am songs that brings unexplainable feelings that goes on repeat
I am patient, I am tolerance

Who am I?
Am the one who tries not to talk or say things that are untrue but still gets called out for it
Am the one who gets misinterpreted
Am the one who gets misjudged
Am the one who truly feels alone in a loud room!
Am the one who avoids drama but it still finds me
Am the one who loves hard, so hard but always almost every time gets left.
Who am i?
Am the one who loves despite everything
Am the one who is never chosen, NEVER chosen, but chooses
Am the one who deals with the hurt, heartache and stress all alone whilst helping the one in love
Who am I?
Am the one loved in the background.

I am ideas
I am the helping hand
I am days of motivation then abruptly lost
I am a sea of unanswered questions, so it's truly loud in my head

Who am I?
I am ME
Just hoping one day besides my heart,
GOD can send another who can see and understand the REAL me!

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