Mind State of Today

My mind state today, it's hard to explain
So I'll try with words and probably it should make some sense to my state
Encircled by people connected by blood
Yet somehow sometime our connection has grown apart
Filled with doubt, unforgiving or just complexed misundestanding
Leading communications to none or family interactions scheduled in a book, how saddening.
Am i being punished for something i did not see at the time?
Even though to this day i know i truly tried.
Yes it can be upsetting even bring tears to my eyes
That though blood does unite they still feel comfortable to those who are so blinded to the true meaning of family ties.
Lonely can be the word used but that is just the weakness of being human at most
But gladly I have my other whom has more blood ties than all others put together
When i am put through the worst the word lonely I won't even fathom
Cause this ones being overcomes all tears, anger, frustration sadness
That without it, it will be such a challenge to understand my being.
Just writing this now my eyes begin to well
Because I don't understand how and when it all began.
I feel stuck in a time that i can recall
When we hung out together, having fun, simple times no scheduling was around
Actually enjoying each other's company not even a second thought
But i guess it is only me cause now you have to think twice
Think twice to hang out think twice to spend time.
But why why then is it so easy to hang with others without even a thought
It does affect me and words can't truly explain
But I guess we are all grown up it is just I who haven't accept the change.

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