This One's You

Ok you got me, this one is for you,
This one is about you.
It's about two decades, constant friends we have been
Variation of gaps in between time, times we have connected
Strange, weird, fate, destiny? Not sure sure which it is
Yet to this day we are still here.
Do you remember how and or when we first met?
All i remember is the staircase, football, lessons, movies in the library, empty feeling when your not here, lunch, the kiss?
Do you remember?

The in between are bit shady, happy and saddening which to this day some is still disheartening
But the now, the present, words can't express
Well actually you avoid to express
So here goes

Before my experiences it was you but time and uncertainties changed things
Meeting my first gave me a sense of assurance that all wasn't lost
But in the end it was.
The roller coaster with the my first changed our fate and this i will never forget
The meeting of all the close encounters again gave me assurance,
But again all was lost!
So then i backtracked
And now we are here, Me staying free of all complications for fear of the ultimate ending
And You, watching you being happy as you should yet at tug war with everything else

I want to say and think the things that i shouldn't
But the person i am maintains a distance to not interfere
I want to demand and scream and curse the things that should be happening
But the person I am maintains the sanity and support that is needed for a friend that means so much
I want to pull away and just stay away
But even that hurts and pains with just a thought.

Temporary moments we share, yes the emojiis, yes the excited hiiiiii, yes the words!!
Those moments are key for me,
The highlight on a slightly saddened day.
But those all stopped, you being clueless don't even realize, but i understand why
Realization for me sets in, and yes even the pics.
But the person I am can't be mad, should not get mad, will not be mad
You have been through so much, you need this!
Despite what i think
Despite how i feel.
Despite what i want.
So i go to war again
The inner War of self.

But yes I am happy,
And will always be happy for you
Maybe it's fate, for my past, I don't know
Just know as challenging as it may seem
I support your love too!

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